True Father of Time

Larry thinks he’s so great, floating about the cosmos, carrying that giant planet on his back. Truth is, the guy has one of cushiest jobs in the universe. What’s worse, is that if you ask him, he acts as if he’s got a hard job.

All he does though is brag to anyone and everyone who’ll listen, and usually that’s me. It’s always, “Hey Bro, guess who swam past Orion’s belt today,” or stuff like, “Man, if I had to fly any closer to the sun, I’d tan my shell more than I’d like.”

Just ask me how many times I’ve seen those stupid vacation photos of the nebulas. Give me a break. He acts like he’s carrying more than the weight of the world on his [...]

[...] shoulders.

I mean, sure he’s got to carry all those elephants in addition to a whole planet, but I never hear Atlas complaining when it’s his turn to do the carrying. You know who actually has the hard job in this family? You’re talkin’ to him pal. How about taking the whole of time itself and carrying that on your back even for a short distance?

That’s what gave me this grey beard. I’m overworked I tell yah! But do you hear me complain? Never!

Who do you think people go to when they need half a moment? That’s right, me! I help people with everything from day to day living to making every second count. And through all of this, even though I hold all of eternity on my back, do I ever get a moment to unwind or minute to myself? I don’t think so. I always have to give away my free time. No one ever thanks me for the job that I do though. In fact, when people do talk to me, they pretty much complain about how I just don’t give them enough hours in the day.

So yeah, call me jealous. The best I can do is just grin and bear it. And don’t get me started on those four cousins of mine who pretend to be ninjas all day.

Keep this t shirt on if: You feel like time is on your side.

Forget about it if: You haven’t a moment to spare.

Sizes Available: Mens - S, M, L, XL, XXL
                             Womens - S, M, L, XL
                             Teens - 12, 14, 16, 18

Colour: Yellowed with age.