[...]
no fig!
He’s so stoic and silent
And will not do a jig!
Sir Stig, Sir Stig, Sir Stig.
To this loud and fearful land
There came a faceless lord.
Beneath his pale armor he had
Sweet abs like a wash-board.
On a rumbling stallion rode
This quiet unknown knight.
The glare behind his visored helm, Gave every man a fright.
What maids did not swoon on meet, He rescued free and clear.
Their songs sang bright and bubbling praise,
But he turned down their beer.
On the morn he had his tasks:
1. Rid land of dragons.
2. Lest there no more maidens fair,
Have more speed than wagons.
If only they had Sir Stig, Sir Stig!
Strong and spare and oh that stare!
What’s he hiding inside there,
An awful case of helm-hair?
Sir Stig, Sir Stig, Sir Stig.
He climbed aboard his black horse,
Each made for the other.
Stirrup to steed, away they went;
They’d fire to smother!
White-hot speed was dare enough,
And soon the dragons chased.
Around and round the land they went,
But never were outpaced.
Lightning quick and dashing fast,
Man and dragon did fly.
From hoof on dirt to wing on wind,
None would give up and die.
At long last the dragons fell,
Great gasps quaking their sides.
They bowed their heads and there were slain,
Without scratch to their hides.
If only they had Sir Stig, Sir Stig!
He is posh and proud and peerless!
Unless you count a fuzzy duck,
He is absolutely fearless!
Eeee! Sir Stig, Sir Stig, Sir Stig.
So the land was dragon-free,
Their gloom and fear all gone.
He took no praise and broached no smile,
Despite how maids did fawn.
Knight and horse together rode,
Into the shining day.
But he’ll be back again, you’ll see,
At least to collect his pay!
If only they had Sir Stig, Sir Stig!
Bold, bright, and his muscles are big!
We need more dragons here and quick,
To bring him back for one more gig.
Sir Stig! Sir Stig! Sir Stig!
Keep this t shirt on if: You believe in the faceless power of good. Or of evil. We’re not picky.
Forget about it if: You’ve never seen Top Gear, or you have and are now freaked out by wondering what sort of creature might be inside that suit.
Sizes Available: Mens - S, M, L, XL, XXL
Womens - WS, WM, WL, WXL
Teens - 12, 14, 16, 18
Colour: : Royal Blue paint on a knightly steed