table legs of the desk to ensure the continued dominance of the cowboy and spaceman. They hope to defend them from us.
Well, I am here to tell you that they can never beat us! Sure there may be hundreds of them, and only a few of us, but that makes us all the better! What are they compared to us? I will tell you what they are: cheap, second-rate, throw away toys, that’s what they are!
I’ve heard that for a handful of coins, a little boy such as our owner, can purchase hundreds of those little plastic army men. I want you to know that I recently searched online and found out that we are collectors’ items my fellow tank men. That’s right, in a few years every toy collector on the planet will want one of us. In a few oh-so-short months little plastic army men, like the ones we face today, will likely be at the bottom of a garbage can. It is our job to send as many of them to that garbage can today!
Now, I know what some of you are thinking. How will we ever strike fear into our enemies now that a little girl has drawn hearts all over my tank and jammed this flag into the barrel of my gun? Yes, I can tell by how you have been laughing during my speech that you don’t know how we could possibly be taken seriously.
Right men? Men?
Aw, come on guys, stop laughing! We’ve been planning for a moment like this for two years, and you guys pick now to have a fit of the giggles.
Yes, I know that I look ridiculous, but it’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know that the little girl would sneak in and do this to me?
You know what? I’m glad she did. There I said it, I’m glad the boy’s little sister came in and drew little hearts all over my tank and shoved this stupid flag in the barrel. The hearts make me feel pretty, and the flag leaves me feeling happy. There, I said it, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m happy.
You know what? Fine, forget the attack. At least I know the little girl likes me.
Keep this t shirt on if: You’ve fought hard to win another person’s love.
Forget about it if: You took a shot on a relationship, but missed by a mile.
Sizes Available: Mens - S, M, L, XL, XXL
Womens - S, M, L, XL
Teens - 12, 14, 16, 18
Colour: Red Hearts