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It is a proven scientific fact that the weight of the world has been carried, for quite some time now, on the backs of several elephants. Not everyone is open to new theories concerning this matter. Admittedly, there has yet to be a satisfying explanation for the perceived movement of our world, but there is bound to be a legitimate break through soon.
Your theory that the elephants rest on the back of a cosmic turtle which ‘swims’ through space has no basis in fact. As scientists, we need proof, good sir. Several members of the science department did indeed find your theoretical diagram outlining the logical placement of said cosmic turtle fascinating, but nevertheless entirely implausible. As one member pointed out, one of the more glaring errors is that you have no good explanation as to why the elephants would not get motion sickness from the movement of the turtle, if the turtle was actually there. This is just one of many reasons why we have to halt the project.
I am afraid without hard evidence, such as a shell fragment or two from the supposed turtle, your theory remains just that, a theory. As such, the board voted unanimously to discontinue funding for the “Turtle” project. Furthermore, if you continue to spout your more wild theories that there are ‘globe’ shaped worlds out there in space, the board may find it necessary to take more drastic disciplinary actions which could include revoking your tenure.
Keep This T Shirt on if: You feel like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Forget about it if: Just the idea of riding on the ocean makes you sea-sick.
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