“Uh, these things really aren’t what I’d call ‘technological’ Wences, and as far as them being a secret I think that—“
“My friend, please do not doubt what I am saying until you yourself have given it a chance, please put one on now! And here, allow me to use this lovely assistant I have in the studio with us today as well. Senorita, are you ready to experience for yourself what I am talking about?”
“Ummm, I guess so. But I don’t want this to get like, weird or anything. In fact, maybe I should talk with my agent before continuing this commercial…”
“Shhh! It is not necessary that you talk, but rather that you immerse yourself fully in what my invention can do for you. Now stand here, and wait for the music to start!”
“Music? Wait, why is there going to be music?”
“Just wait and you will see Tony! Now I need you to stand here across from the lovely senorita, as you at home may have noticed, they are both wearing my patented device. What is this thing you ask? Why, I call it ‘El Sombrero,’ it has a nice ring, no?”
“I didn’t think a person could patent hats, is that a new thing?”
“Please, patiently wait for the conclusion of this demonstration and all will be made clear to you. Both of you now, please stand next to each other and be prepared as I put on a bit of salsa music, please try to dance together my friends.”
*DA Da Da DA DA!*
“Excellent! See how my invention ‘El Sombrero’ prevents them from getting too close to one another! See how they barely touch one another’s arms! See how it tames the unbridled passion which the music moves them to feel!”
“I don’t really feel anything for this guy. I just met him. If I do feel anything, I feel his hat just doesn’t go with his shoes.”
“See? The senorita agrees, ‘El Sombrero’ has done its job!”
“Yeah buddy, this is kinda silly when you get down to it. A hat as a contraceptive? Are you crazy?”
“Not half as crazy as I would be without my invention! See how effective my invention is? Did you note the revulsion and frustration on the senorita’s face as she tried to dance with her lover?”
“Look, wearing this nutty thing wasn’t my idea, and it’s deceptive. What kind of kook would think a hat—I’m sorry—‘El Sombrero’ would act to prevent a couple from getting together and—”
“Ha ha! You jest my friend! Remember folks to look for my greatest invention yet, ‘El Sombrero!’ Coming to a market near you soon!”
Keep this t shirt on if: You have your own unique sense of style that naturally attracts the opposite sex.
Forget about it if: You don’t like being blocked from getting close to someone you love.
Sizes Available: Mens - S, M, L, XL, XXL
Womens - WS, WM, WL, WXL
Teens - 12, 14, 16, 18
Colour: : Dark Brown moustaches are really in style right now.