Fastest

“Layyyydeees and gentlemen, history is being rewritten in front of your very eyes.

“We, the disgruntled employees of The-Animal-Cable-TV-Channel-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, who got tired of waiting for beavers to come out at night and twitch their noses, have decided to Steve Irwin things up a bit, and present you the world’s fastest animal – the Gazelle on Wheels.

“Yes, we know that Wikipedia tells you otherwise, but there’s no reason that technology can’t benefit others in the food chain. We tried to strap on Spots, but he nearly took our thumbs off, even though he’d had lunch less than an [...]

[...] hour ago. That’s the problem with cats though. Cute as buttons, but absolutely un-trainable.

“Anyhoo since Bambi here was a willing volunteer, we’ve strapped him to the largest turbo rocket we could steal from the Rejected Patents warehouse at Lockheed Martin and just look at him go. Spots looked worried and he should be. After all, without that Guinness record to his name, there’s no telling him apart from a puma, a jaguar or a Siamese.

“And doesn’t Bambi look cute? He’s got his tongue hanging out like my dog Marley did when he stuck out his head of the car window during trips to the store. Maybe I can even take Bambi home, now that Marley’s gone. All I need to now figure out is how to train a stag to bring in my morning paper…”

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the making of this T-shirt. Ok, maybe Bambi’s a bit sore.

Keep this t shirt on: You weren’t ever a cat person

Forget about it if: You like deer best when it’s dead. And on your plate. And you’ll have that venison steak medium rare, thank you very much

Sizes Available: Mens - S, M, L, XL, XXL
                             Womens - S, M, L, XL
                             Teens - 12, 14, 16, 18

Colour: Yellow