Alla dem

After several failed attempts at teaching pandas to punctuate, a group of scientists finally struck upon the genius plan to move the sub species to the Earth’s satellite to avoid any more untoward incidents of eating, shooting and leaving.

The experts however have been taken aback by just how well the bears seem to have taken to their new home. Several expected that their first few weeks in their new habitat would be marked by, well, panda-moon-ium, but the situation has been quite the opposite. Some have even been spotted in their Sunday best (top hat et all) and whistling a tune while they take a stroll around lunar craters. It almost seems like they were happy to get away… [...]

[...] That’s fine. WE DIDN’T CARE MUCH FOR PO OR KUNG FU EITHER!

Ahem.

If there’s only one thing that the group felt real bad about, it was the WWF business. After being the organization’s brand ambassador for years, sources say that executives were at their wit’s end to find a replacement – and quickly. Last the pandas heard, the fund had been using Charlie Sheen’s face on their merchandise since all the people who gave a damn about him were dying out. Tragic, that.

Keep this t shirt on if: You, like us, think that pandas are freaks of nature because there's certainly something fishy about a bear that's vegetarian

Forget about it if: You're still playing with the Kung Fu Panda toys they gave out with Happy Meals

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